Drained

I've been in a bit of a down phase recently. The pain and fatigue have been bad and there have been a lot more bad days than good. Possibly because I've been using up my reserves on a fair few social events of late with birthdays galore! It is nice to go out and see friends, something I have been missing for a long while, and I really enjoyed it but it takes a lot out of me.

I'm also in full birthday planning mode! My daughters fifth birthday is looming and she asked and asked for a swimming party, which she is getting of course, which means a swim followed by party time in our local pools party room. Full frozen theme, what a suprise lol. It's going well (I hope) and I promise to post photos when it's all over, but for now I am one knackered mummy baking and sticking and filling away!

In other news the new meds are interesting, I had the mother of all migraines a few days after starting which I think was just coincidence (again I hope!) and now they just make me over tired at night, which I guess should help me sleep. Pain clinic said I need to give them some time before moving up the dosage so we shall see how it all goes.

Actually this has turned out to be a pretty boring and flat entry, but I guess that's how I am feeling lately, just thoroughly drained.

Slimming World

So I thought I would do a little update on how I am finding the whole slimming world journey!

I have to say of all the plans and diets and what nots I have tried in the past this is by far the best in my opinion. Its more focused on being a healthy eating plan and certainly something I can see myself following long term etc

But boy do I miss cake. Like REALLY miss cake.

But i'm doing ok, 4th week weigh in saw me a total of 9lbs down so its slow and steady and thats meant to be the best way to help keep it off right? But anyway as I had passed the half stone mark (yey go me!) I got my first award! I love that you get awards and stuff to keep you motivated though unfortunately at my group we only get the stickers but never mind! I also got my bronze award for excercise which is awesome AAAAAAAAAAAAAND I won slimmer of the week! So all in all it was a pretty awesome week lol.

So yeah I'm happy so far and just hope I can keep it up and keep loosing until I reach my goal.

In other news I have been started on some new meds for migraines which coincidently is also used to treat fibro, so will see how that goes!

Today is a tired day

There are some types of people who post every little thing on facebook, every ache or twinge, some look for sympathy on a serial basis, some just write their whole lives out for people to read.
I don't.
I've often been accused of "spending my life on facebook" when, actually, I don't really look on there much at all. I miss major life events for months on end in some cases, but I try to keep an eye out if I can. Mostly I look at support networks. Some for fibro, some for parenting, some for lifting up my mood and one very good close knit group for boobs everyday life and well everything (you guys know who you are!). Anyway my point is, unless you really know me you could be forgiven for thinking that I only rarely mention being poorly because I live a generally fit and well life.
But I guess that's it, isnt it? People don't really know me. They dont know that every single day I live with chronic pain, pain that is permanently there in many forms and degrees. Like right now, this very second. My head is poundy, thick and full, a headache is brewing that I might take something for so a bit more than the daily headaches I wouldn't bother with. My neck and shoulders burn, that never goes away. My ear aches a little. The bones in my hands hurt, typing is ok but I doubt I could crochet today. My back has a throb and my right ribs have an ache. My lower back is twinging, my knees are sharp pains and my feet too. This is all normal for me. This is actually a very low pain day!
Unfortunately I also suffer with chronic fatigue and today, today is a tired day. It's copable but I'm not getting the things done I had hoped to today and i'm not looking forward to the school run later.
I'm not sure why I'm even babbling now, this post, this post was meant to be about how people don't really understand those of us with hidden conditions, that because we look fine on the outside and don't complain much. Doesn't mean that we are or that our lives aren't living hell on a daily basis.

Forgetfulness again

Thing I hate most about fms is the way it has affected my head. I'd always had a high iq, not quite mensa but I wasn't far off according to some tests. I played chess for Devon and was in top 3% for maths for many years.
Now I'm lucky if I can remember what day of the week it is. Why have I come in to the kitchen? Even how to spell my daughters name.
So unsurprisingly I forgot I had a blog for a while let alone remembering to write something interesting! I also seemed to forget to put a title on my last post lol (sorted now ha)
But anyway I'm back now :)

Seems I forgot a title

Im still not 100% I have to say. It's not been the best of weeks to say the least, I really hate being poorly, well more poorly than usual. With so little energy reserves to start with even a cold and sore throat really really knocks me for six (what does that mean anyway?) and it takes forever to get completely over things too. So i'm plodding on, feeling crappy, getting things done as you do.

Managed to drag myself out one night last week in order to join slimming world with some friends. I have tried various things over the years with some or little success, so I dont know what to expect from this one. But I NEED something to work, I cant continue living this miserable forever. I have so little self essteam, I just plain hate myself and the way I look.

So here I am on day 6 of slimming world with my first weigh in tomorrow, moment of truth and all that.
I would be lying if I didnt say at times it has been hard, though I have never really gone hungry as such as there is so much unlimited food to choose from, I have missed chocolate and bread and cake and toast laden with butter and yeah basically all the bad stuff in the world! But that's the point right? To be healthier? There were also times when I came to meals I'd planned before this all started that were a bit on the calorific side, but hopefully I've managed to counteract that!
But I have to admit this is the easiest plan I have ever seen, I mean unlimited pasta?!? (*dried stuff) that is AMAZING! I mean I LOVE! pasta :D unlimited lean mean, unlimited fruit and veggies (*fresh and whatnot) it really is weird, ok there is do's and don't's but then theres yeah you can have as much of that as you want! brilliant. You still get a little of the bad stuff too, everyday you have to eat healthy extras, things like cheese milk bread etc come under these so you get a little of the stuff you need in your life without going over the top. Then there are syns. Syns are everything else, like creamy sauces, and chocolate, alcohol, cake etc. So yeah you could have chocolate every day as long as it stayed within your syn allowance! Amazing.

Like I say tomorrow will be proof of the pudding (again...what?) and all that so I will have to report back on how that goes.

Starting as I mean to go on - Big Healthy Shop

Some of the delicious meals I've enjoyed this week!

Feeling Yuck

It's been a while since I last posted as Im fighting a lovely cold/throat infection at the moment. You know the one, thousands of razor blades in your throat yadda yadda.
Unfortunately life as a parent doesnt stop does it? Smallest feeling under the weather too doesnt lend itself to a whole lot of rest, but that's just what we do, carry on regardless (then collapse in a heap at bedtime!)
We've had an action packed few days too with the inlaws visiting and a trip to a nephews birthday party which has been fun, but now I would just very much like some sleep. Please? Oh go on? *sigh*
In other news I am working on a proper post for you all which I hope to complete this week. First time I've actually done a bit of research etc in order to write one! So hopefully it will turn out good for y'all :)
I will also be sharing some products I've been testing out recently, I do love to do a good product testing! So watch out for them coming up too! Now where are the throat sweets.....

Totally Hooked

I love crafts. I mean LOVE them.
I have card making stuff, fabrics, an embroidery machine, boxes of cross stitching gear, decopage etc. You name it, I've probably tried it at some point lol.
My latest love is crochet. I'd tried and failed to crochet a couple of times in the past, just couldn't get it; and i'd always been jealous of the pictures of pretty yarns I'd seen friends post around (I defo can't knit!). So last september I thought I would give it another go. Out came the youtube videos and a hook, and away I went. Somehow through sheer luck of finding some great videos I soon got the hang of it and within a month I was making gloves, and hats, scarfs and allsorts! I was well and truely hooked! (haha)

Unfortunately my hands are something I have particular problems with, right from a young age I'd have random episodes of butterfingers as it were. Dropping stuff randomly and loss of control. These days the pain and stiffness add to top that, and I find on bad days I cannot pick up my hooks, no matter how badly I want to. Those days are difficult. At least when I have my hands on bad days, I can sit and crochet or draw (another huge love of mine) and it doesnt take up vast energy etc, and creating beautiful things cheers me up. But when even that is impossible leaves little light in the darkness.

Leanring to make barbie dresses = one happy 4yr old lol

So proud of my crochet doll ^^